9.30 PM
I ran to that bathroom,
sat next to the toilet while crying my eyes out.
A million thoughts running through my head:
“you fatty” “ew look at her scars” “trans freak”
…
I look at my arms and suddenly I feel guilty.
I lean on the toilet, my chest pressed on the edge.
It all went black while i spewed my problems aside.
I can taste it.
I can smell it, touch it
I can feel the thoughts messing in my head.
I can see the wreck i am.
can feel the mess i am
I need that taste to go away
I need to forget what just happened.
so i ran to the balcony and lit a cigarette.
as if it’ll make all of my problems disappear.
Aback I can’t breathe.
I kept asking myself why I am the way I am.
“Why am I a mess?”
God… there’s no answer to that.
– Anonimo